Whazzup this weekend? Funny you should ask.

In Second City's Black Orchid Theater, the Best of Second City is on Friday and Saturday at 8:00. On the Mainstage, War! Now In Its 4th Smash Year! plays Sunday at 7:00.

Tonight at i.O., in the Del Close Theater, catch Improv Shakespeare at 8:00, Baby Wants Candy (The Rock Opera) at 10:30, and BoxCo at midnight. Also at i.O. tonight, in the Cabaret, is the Cook County Social Club, and what we hear is some fabulous funny with Let Them Ho's Fight.

At the Annoyance Theater, on Friday or Saturday, have some fun with President Bush is a Great Man, Grabass, and Crickets, at 8:00, 10:00, and 12:00 both nights.

Tonight at the Playground, at 8:00, State of Delaware, Miss Hawaiian Tropic, and Radar-7. Then, at 10:00, Graffiti Presents Nick Vaterott, and some forbidden fun from Schadenfreude. At midnight, Adventures in Comedy. Saturday at 8:00, Malice, Mort, and Mustang Repair, followed by Don't Spit the Water at 10:30, not to mention Belmont Burlesque Revue at 12:15 (that's in the morning, you energetic young hipsters, you). Then on Sunday at 9:00, Overstock.

Then there's always the Chicago cultural landmark Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind (since 1988!), Friday and Saturday at 11:30, and at 7:00 on Sundays at the Neo-Futurarium. Also there this weekend is Roustabout: The Great Circus Train Wreck, Friday and Saturday at 8:00.

Also, your mother loves you very much, and would like for you to call her this weekend, if it's not too much trouble.