so what would happen in chicago is that i would get really anxious about getting booked places, because there's only a small base to cover. but now that i'm here, it's great because i want to check out all these different shows and meet all these different comics; experience their comedy. and there isn't that anxiety. it's just about setting goals as a comic and getting better and figuring out all the tiny details that i need to make my writing and stage presence better.

chicago comics are hilarious, and we are grouped into a scene of our own of sorts here. "oh you're one of those chicago comics," they'll say. it's cool. but i don't like to totally include myself in that category, because i am still becoming what i want to become in comedy. that's why i moved here. you can see so much here and learn from both the good and bad.

i have written a bunch of new stuff and am refining what i already have. i just want to work all my stuff out, all the stuff i always liked to do and maybe was just too scared to try out. i am going to be shooting a lot more video, and making those for myself, just written and produced by me. not only because i am poor, but because i want to do this. and i love that medium. it's so fucking great when it hits. i am taking improv classes at ucb and struggling through what any beginning level improv class will do to a person's soul. i am excited to get through the first three levels of that and get to the real meat of it, since i did do improv at the playground for a year and graduated annoyance's program.

but i go out every night and see a show, do a show or an open mic, or any combination of the three.

i've met some great people i really like and laugh with. i knew some people from before, either through shows i did, or [mike] burns' or brooke [van poppelen]'s friends i'd met, and i actually have a couple non-comic friends that live here too.

i have been babysitting a couple days a week since pretty much the day i got here, and then i got hired at a pub down the street. i worked there for about 4 days until i walked out when the angry irish pub owner got in my face about reading a newspaper. sounds ridiculous because it is. i'll get another bullshit part-time job somewhere, even though i may donate some eggs to pay for my rent in the meantime. so what if there's a couple kids out there with my genes -- fuck em, i wanted to live in manhattan, dammit.

so my main concern is just being a better comic. and if i can manage that, i will get where i need to be.

i feel ready for all of it, and excited for the future."