The Bastion has been up to its usual tricks, hitting Impress These Apes followed by the open mic at the Mix on Monday, and Thomas and TJ's Tuesday Riot followed by Chicago Underground Comedy last night. Yeah, we might need a night off.

The Impress These Apes talent this week was short film, and the hapless human contestants, try though they might, may not be able to fend off the eventual destruction of humanity and the planet itself. (Also, is it just us, or is Professor Scoresboard more openly hostile to his banana-mashing captors as time goes on? Not that we blame him, what with the constant humiliation of that organ grinder monkey suit they make him wear.) Some of the films were pretty chuckleworthy, and we all got free popcorn, so it all evens out in the end. Oh, and next week's show, which is the grand finale, will not be at the Playground, but rather, the Lakeshore Theater, at Broadway and Belmont. Be there to see the grand prize winner pocket a life-changing $250, and, you know, witness the end of homo sapiens.

The Mix open mic was mellow, as usual, with a steady stream of comics rotating through the room, and little glitches like the spotlight burning out, requiring the comedians to stand, Hannibal Lecter-like, directly under a stage light. We chatted with the usual suspects, including Robert Buscemi, Hannibal, Andy Ross, Jena Friedman, and Bill Cruz, and caught a few minutes by Jack Calhoun and Jared Logan as Brady Novak hosted what the nerdier among us secretly hoped would have been a straight-up President's Day show. What? Michael Palascak pulled off a clothesline of Presidential jokes. Some people appreciated the effort.

Last night's Thomas and TJ's Tuesday Riot actually didn't feature TJ Miller, as he's off in L.A. chasing down some tv-related pilot opportunities of some sort. (We got a one-line e-mail on that one. Hey, we can't get the full scoop all the time!) But Thomas Middleditch and his guest improviser did their best with a tiny audience who (ahem) supplied the performers with the hackiest of audience suggestions to work with. (Sorry to tell you, loud and possibly drunk dude in back row, but improvisers have heard things like "dildo" and "poo" yelled out from the darkness of the audience since the dawn of time. Seriously.) Brendan McGowan, Mike Holmes, and Prescott Tolk took the stage for the stand-up portion of the show, which, again, was not an ideal situation for them, in terms of the number of audience members and the non-clubby set-up of the Del Close Theater, but we have high hopes for this show turning into something pretty great if it is able to build up a loyal following.

Chicago Underground Comedy was good fun last night. Chicago comedy photog and megafan Katie Moore was led onstage and treated to a big blazing birthday cake and a singalong, although she was awfully quick to duck the spotlight and leap offstage. (The cake, in case you're wondering, was white, with chocolate icing - quite tasty.) Mike Bridenstine hosted, and featured comics included the delightful Cameron Esposito, who revealed that she and her sister, like a lot of Catholic kids, grew up transfiguring various household snack items into the holy host for playtime games of Mass. (We went for smashed Wonder Bread ourselves, but apparently Better Cheddars and Nilla Wafers will also do in a pinch.) Also onstage at ChUC were Daryl Amandes (of the Adventure Club and Scribble), Ricky Carmona, David Angelo, and Sean Flannery. Also there to enjoy a laugh (and yoink some cake) were Bradley Fojas, Jordan Vogt-Roberts, Lauren Bishop and Hannah Gansen.

While at ChUC we were glad to offer congratulations to producer and comic Tony Sam, who nabbed the Mark Sinclair Memorial Award for Most Innovative Comedian at last week's Chicago Comedy Awards, which were hosted by Ken Bernard at the Lincoln Lodge. We have to think that award was apt. Have you seen anyone else whang more comedy out of a ukelele than Tony Sam? No, you haven't. Other winners included Best Comedian Jared Logan, Most Improved Comedian Becky Garcia, and Comic's Choice C.J. Sullivan. It was mentioned that perhaps Ken, though he did a wonderful job as host, should be replaced next year so he can be eligible for a big shiny prize as well.

(Tony Sam picture courtesy of Krystle Gemnich. Krystle's photos from the Chicago Comedy Awards here, and yet another great set from Katie Moore here.)

- Elizabeth McQuern