F.O.B. and comedian Christopher Burns is currently in studies at i.O., where he's learning how to Make it Big in comedy writing from local hero Michael McCarthy. We asked Chris to relay to us some info about the 24-weeks-long class, ostensibly for you, dear reader, but let's be honest: this undergrad degree in journalism with a minor in creative writing is going nowhere fast, and we need to step it up a notch. If Mike can't teach us, it can't be learned.

"The focus of the first eight weeks is on talk shows. Basically the Leno, Letterman, Conan type but we also discuss and can write ideas for Colbert, the Daily Show, Bill Maher (which McCarthy seems to really like). The first thing we talked about in week one was two-liners. Reading a news article, and then creating a joke about it in two lines, set-up and punch line. That was our assignment after week one, read the front page of the Chicago Tribune, and write a joke a day about a story on that page. After week two (unfortunately I missed the second class do to a family emergency), he wanted more personal two-liners. Putting "I" into the joke, and telling the two-liner as if you were saying it to your friend at a coffeeshop, so that he could hear what we really found funny about the story and so it came from our point of view. Also this week, he wanted us to develop a two-liner into a monologue. A commentary monologue, where you are just commenting on the news piece from your point of view. And then a CHARACTER monologue, which is commenting on a news piece from the point of view of a character. People did George Bush, a truck driver, the effeminate black guy from the movie Mannequin (seriously), etc.

Next week, our assignment is desk pieces, those little segments in between the monologue and when the guests come out, where the hosts basically make something out of nothing. Low budget funny stuff that takes a few minutes. For example, Letterman's Top 10 list, Conan's "in the year 2000", Leno's small town news stories. This week we are to come up with six each for three separate talk shows. I'm excited for this one.

Anyway, McCarthy is really knowledgeable, and seems, so far, to care about the students and that we move on from this class with material that we can submit to management companies, shows, etc. He's worked for SNL, Whose line is It Anyway?, the Drew Carey Show, Sesame Street. He's written a bunch of screenplays, too. I think for me, the best part of the class is that it is really focusing my writing, and getting to spend three hours a week with someone who has done what I want to do one day. Hearing about his writing process, how he goes about it and hearing about his experiences in the industry have been interesting. He literally writes eight hours a day (with 15 minute breaks every 45 minutes) and that is what it takes.

His breakdown of the talk show formula into these segments is great. I mean, when he's breaking them down, you're like "duh", but having someone break it down and force you to write ideas for each segment and say, "Your job at a talk show would be to write this segment, like this," it just gives you a greater understanding of the formula, why it works, and which great ideas you have that could work within that formula.

The second eight weeks we build a portfolio for SNL and the eight weeks after that is a spec script.

Also something interesting McCarthy told us yesterday: Conan has been doing the "In the Year 2000" bit since at least 1989, when he and Bob Odenkirk were doing it in their sketch show somewhere on Lincoln Ave., and he's still freaking doing it on his show!"