We mentioned earlier that some Chicago Underground Comedy performers are starting a new series of shows called the Pop Stand. The first show is tonight at the Beat Kitchen (2100 W. Belmont), so why not give it a whirl? Doors open at 8:30, and the show starts at 9. Bring your favorite pop culture nerd and see what's what. The best of the best will be available for your job-avoiding pleasure on Rooftop Comedy.
Goood morning/afternoon/evening, Bastionland! Several things to let you know about/remind ourselves about, here on the gorgeous Friday in the city. There is no rhyme nor reason, there is only COMEDY:
This Sunday, July 1, at 9 p.m., come to Bad Dog Tavern to say goodbye to Chicago stand-up stalwart Josh Cheney. Oh, you didn't know? He's moving. To L.A. There's a beach there. And wild peacocks. Why wouldn't he go there? There will be a show that evening, but there will be more tears than laughter. Okay, we'll stop being that way.
But then that Tuesday, July 3, you can shake all that off and give Ms. Brooke Van Poppelen a giant, warm, welcome back hug, as she'll be back on the stage she co-founded, Chicago Underground Comedy! Follow up the goodtimes that are surely to be had this evening with a visit to Zanies that weekend, July 6-8, as she features for her good friend Baron Vaughn. We'll be there Sunday night! Please say hi and sit down for a drink with us. We have to drink at least two bevvies, you know!
We haven't been very dutiful about the show, but we heard that Tommy Johnagin advanced in Last Comic Standing this week, Operation: Minneapolis. As there weren't any Chicago tryouts this season, many of our own trekked down to Minn. to get in on the action, and even though we're not sure we can REALLY claim Tommy, we are right now! Plus, he's a super nice, affable guy and a hilarious, strong comic who worked the Chicago alt stages a couple years ago and then kept right on working onto Live at Gotham. Good luck, Tommy!
They managed to piss off 10,000 more 14-year-olds, this time by landing on MySpace.com's homepage this past Tuesday with a fully remastered version of "8 Mile", the beloved Eminem spoof which also was the catalyst for the whole Blerds thing. Do continue to read all 1700+ comments.
And finally, for your Big Happy Friday round-up, we'll give you at least a week-out heads-up: Zach Galifianakis is at the Vic Theatre, Friday, July 6, 8 p.m.. No, there hasn't been any local media coverage on the show. It's not even on the Vic's Web site. There's hardly been even a MySpace bulletin about it! But rest assured, we do know the show is real, and tickets can be bought here. How do we know it's real? Well, good friend of the Bastion Kumail Nanjiani is opening for the Zach! And guess what else? The very next day, July 7, Kumail is staging his one-man show at the Lakeshore Theater. We're pretty sure that you can be very certain there will be an Inside With: Kumail Nanjiani, published next week right here on the Bastion.
Stuff your face with Chicago favorites like pierogies and deep dish pizza while getting your laugh on at the and Sierra Mist/Zanies Laugh Stage.
Feeling funny? Try out from 11-1 and check out the triumphant finalists from 4-6. Grand prize puts the winner on stage for a set at Zanies. Plus, like we said, the proximity of pierogies!
EDIT: Thanks to Fojas for the scoop - it's a Sierra Mist/Zanies enterprise, sponsored by several different radio stations. Check out more complete info here.
The Lakeshore Theater is continuing its run of amazing summer comedy shows. Edinburgh Fringe Festival darling Scott Capurro will be playing the Lakeshore Theater on June 29 and 30.
Charmingly provocative, Capurro has been described by the San Francisco Free Press as "stand-up in the very best possible sense - deadpan, ever-alert and hilarious." He also hold the dubious distinction of having played parts in both Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, and Nash Bridges. Yeah, Nash Bridges. With Don fricking Johnson.
It's finally here! Chicago Open Set in conjunction with 'The Other Windfrey Show', will be shooting the pilot episode for 'No Restrictions' live on July 3rd at 8pm at Kittymoon, located at 6237 N. Clark.
"No Restrictions" is live stand up comedy mixed with a talk show edge. Here, hot topics in local and national news will be discussed and dished out in a comedic flare that only our "No Restrictions" panelists can provide.
Performers will include recent Montreal Comedy Festival vet Hannibal, Edge Comedy Competition winner Haji Outlawl, Matt Diehl, and the lovely and talented Kristin Barrick.
"Spread the word because this is going to be huge because July 3rd is the kick off event for our thirteen episode tour. From now until December we will be filming each episode in a different venue every month. For more information check in with Laurie."
Got a filthy mind? Think you can top Bob Saget's disgusting take on the classic Aristocrats joke? Big Dog Eat Child is holding a $100 Aristocrats Joke Contest at their upcoming Super Party.
If you're over 18, can tell your version of the joke in under 3.5 minutes, and can finish up with the punchline "The Aristocrats!", e-mail Pedro Castro, and then show up at the Ashbary Coffee House (8695 S. Archer Ave.) at 9:30 p.m. on July 21. Contestants will be judged by members of Big Dog Eat Child as well as the audience. You could walk away with some dough and the satisfaction of knowing you're sicker than Danny Tanner.
The Bastion Gets Renee Gauthier to Dish on Posh Spice
Renee Gauthier gave us some details on the episode of "Twentysomething Toddler" that we featured last week.
"That sketch was written by Josh Spector and we were able to improvise on the loose script. The dad is Nate Craig and I am obviously playing the mom. Adam Hunter is the son. The series will be following Adam in normal life situations with parents who always treat him like he's four years old. I had a great time shooting this sketch, it was a lot of fun!"
Also, tune into NBC on Monday, July 16, to see Renee work her tail off as a personal assistant to the Poshest Spice Girl of all in the hour-long reality special "Victoria Beckham: Coming to America," then check back here with the Bastion to read our exclusive, post-Beckham interview about what it's really like to be the left arm and shopping bag holder of the one and only Victoria "richer than you can dream of" Beckham.
Yes, it's a special Saturday post! We wanted you to know that tomorrow, Sunday, June 24, at 1 p.m. at Quimby's bookstore (1854 W. North Avenue), you can catch a free reading of Comedy By the Numbers by its esteemed authors Eric Hoffman and Gary Rudoren, with a special guest appearance by Bob Odenkirk. The Bastion had a nice chat with the authors, who are Annoyance Theater alums and very funny guys.
How did the "Comedy By the Numbers" project come about, and what's your collaboration style on something like this?
ERIC: The only "pisser" about the collaboration was that we couldn't be together in the same room much. Gary was in Chicago and then New York, I was in LA. If we ever write a book together in the same state - look out!
GARY: It was a little unusual I guess, but we just trusted each other. We were on the same page when it came to the style we were shooting for. I went out to LA a few times too. We used the inter-web a lot too – thanks inventor of the web, whoever you are!
What are the most valuable comedy lessons you learned at the Annoyance, and do you have any particular favorite memories of performing there?
GARY: I learned a lot of lessons through experimenting by taking a germ of an idea and developing plays through an improvisational process. The first show I was in was “That Darned Anti-Christ” and I got to watch Mick work as a director, it was a big influence on trusting the process. Later when he asked me to direct, I was of course nervous, but jumped into it and ended up directing I think about 9 or 10 shows. My work tended to be on a smaller scale...the first one-man show with Jimmy Carrane for example, but I think by doing several one person/two person shows, I helped expand the notion of the Annoyance work. Once the Annoyance had its own building on Broadway, the place was nuts, there were sometimes 12 or 13 different productions during the week. The fact that I was able to walk in and do whatever I wanted theatrically was huge. We had this late night sketch show for awhile called The Bean Can Tour – a snarky reference to an old Second City scene – and the run’n’gun of putting that show up was a great lesson in getting an idea and executing it right away. We did a show where we locked ourselves (about 12 of us) into the theater for a week and couldn’t leave. We started one Saturday night with nothing and by the next Saturday night had a full blown musical comedy – I played a crack dealing hospital administrator – sure we tweaked after that, but I got to sleep outside for a week on our roof deck. Really there are too many favorite memories, but I’ll just proudly say that I did show my ass on stage, in two different shows, and the world somehow survived.
ERIC: I probably learned the most doing the "Bean Can Tour", the Annoyance's first weekly late night sketch show. Running orders, the pacing of a show, rehearsing the shit out of something, not rehearsing something at all, last minute lighting and sound cues... really just everything you would need to know about mounting a comedy show. And doing it all while drunk. At the time, as far as I know, it was the only place in town where you could do anything, say anything. I mean anything. That's what drew me to the Annoyance. There were absolutely no restrictions. Nothing was frowned upon. Unless it didn't work. And even then it was like "big deal, at least it was satisfyingly 'different.' "
As for favorite memories, every show I did there was a great time. When you're working with hilarious people like Gary, Matt Walsh, Jodi Lennon, Ed Furman, Madeline Long, Rich Fulcher, Susan Messing, and everyone else there, then it's really just a non-stop favorite memory.
What's the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
ERIC: I love the Garth Marenghi show. Pure comedy genius. That show uses a lot of numbers, so watch it.
GARY: I just saw “Knocked Up” and that had some great stuff in it. They used many of the numbers from our book! Also TJ & Dave have been playing in NY once a month the last 8 months or so, and they’re great.
Who are some of your favorite up and coming, still relatively unknown comedians that you think deserve more attention, and what is it that you like about what they're doing?
ERIC: I've worked with some great comic actors of late. Scot Robinson, Joe Nunez, and Zoe Distefano. That was for the "Comedy By The Numbers" short films for Super Deluxe, which Bob Odenkirk directed. Scot and Joe were from the Annoyance. Lindsey Stoddart, Monica Smith, and Mark Fite I worked with on the "Snuz Brothers" short films with Jay Johnston (also for Super Deluxe). Also Gillian Vigman, Mike Monterastelli, and Bill Chott. Jay and Mike were also at the Annoyance. All of these performers can be called upon to do anything. And everything they do is top notch hysterical. And this kid Gary Rudoren is on his way up.
GARY: Eric beat me to the schmooze. Wait til these Superdeluxe videos hit the streets, Eric’s gonna get so much action... Shooting those films, working with Scot again, Joe and Zoe – and Bob Odenkirk directing – was awesome. Scot is an incredible talent – he also does a great show that started at the Annoyance years ago called The Lampshades with Kate Flannery (now on The Office). Anyway, there are a ton of people who we worked with in Chicago who have gone on to do great comedy work in NY and LA – and I think that’s awesome. Some of them are less high-profile, but are really talented and every time I go out to LA, I’m amazed at how much they’re doing. There’s a group called Beer Shark Mice that plays at the IO in LA for example that is like a rock star troupe – Mike Coleman, Pete Hulne, Dave Koechner, Neil Flynn, Pat Finn – just funny F’ing guys. In Chicago, I’m really happy the Annoyance has a new home in Uptown and continues to experiment and do some cool work. I miss not having a place to play around, being in New York now, but look forward to going back. And the NY scene seems to be great too. I’m going to start teaching writing/solo performing at The Magnet, which is Armando Diaz’s theater here. Plus the city is home for those little comedy programs – Daily Show, Colbert and Conan.
What were some of your print comedy favorites growing up - National Lampoon? Mad Magazine? Anything that you enjoyed that made the idea of writing a comedy book even more appealing?
GARY: National Lampoon and Mad were seminal, no doubt. I also read Woody Allen’s compilations when I was younger – Getting Even and Without Feathers which definitely re-inforced my skewed look at life. I think it’s tough to sustain a funny book. Maybe that’s why we broke this one down so much. The fact that Python was able to make their writing as absurdly funny as their movies, was incredibly cool. One of my biggest influences and favorites was always Doonesbury – and Hunter S. Thompson – possibly not the best role model for a nice Jewish boy from Long Island, but when I read Fear and Loathing, it flipped a switch somewhere.
ERIC: I loved National Lampoon's "Mr. Vengeance" comic strip by Buddy Hickerson. Their high school yearbook satire is a classic. Mad Magazine was a favorite for a while. Don Martin was a super genius. But for me, the Monty Python books are what really got me interested in print comedy. They did everything right. They took the time to refashion their sketches for a book reader. And they really loaded every page with fun stuff. One of my favorite bits was in "The Brand New Monty Python Papperbok." Throughout the book, they keep building up Page 71. "Page 71! Coming soon!" and "Wow! Only 15 pages left until Page 71!" Then when you get there, it's just a big "Page 71" in bold letters. The very next page there are fake headlines from all the major newspapers: "Page 71 disappoints" and "Oh what a let-down!" And the one who disagrees: "Well I liked it." I've had all the Python books for years and I still laugh very hard every time I read them.
Remember the Bastion's Louis CK "Shameless" DVD giveaway contest? Of course you do. Here, for your groaning pleasure, the winning redhead jokes submitted by soon-to-be proud owners of a shiny new Louis CK DVD:
1. Why did Namorita break up with the Human Torch?
Because all red-heads are fucking crazy.
-Dan
2. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Doughboy?
An angry redhead with a yeast infection.
- Jim
3. Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
The redhead turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The redhead asks, "What do you do about it?
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the redhead asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"
1. What do you call a Communist Blowjob? Red-head.
-Tim
2. Did you hear the one about the red-headed fireman?
His hair caught on fire but NO ONE COULD TELL!
But (A) it wasn't "in the line of duty" fighting a fire. He was just at home in his backyard grilling out. So the fact that he was a fireman was a "red herring" part of the set-up.
And (B) the reason no one could tell is that he was alone out there grilling. Had anyone seen him, they'd've seen the fire and, one assumes, help extinguish his head.
So the lesson is, DON'T GRILL ALONE, no matter WHAT your hair color!
3. A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were
watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the
Brooklyn Bridge.
The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead
replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde
gave the redhead the $50 she owed.
The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend."
The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet. You won the money."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock
news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied,... "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump
again!"
-Bridget
4. An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying.
A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.
"Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old
redhead. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we make
love. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make love.
At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we make love."
The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You
should be the happiest man in the world!"
So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I
live!"
Sigh, terrible joke, only vaguely redhead-related. Sorry.
'Kids in the Hall' Producer Looking For Next Big Sketch Group
It's the Great Sketch Comedy Showdown!
We can't attest to the "ladies man" claim in the below blurb, but sources tell us the contest is for reals, yo.
"Jim Biederman, renowned ladies man and producer of hit shows Kids in the Hall, Tom Green Show, Andy Dick Show, and the Whitest Kids U’Know, is looking for the next great sketch comedy troupe to develop in a final attempt to rediscover his passion for living. Upload your sketch comedy videos NOW for a chance to win a development deal AND a celebratory high-five from Jim Biederman himself! For contest info, visit here."
Watch a silly clip of the talent scouters discussing the project here.
The $3500 Edge Comedy Winner has been announced. Performing to a packed house of 80+ people was first place winner Haji Outlaw, who sauntered off with $2,000. Nabbing $1000 was Matt Wayne, and third place went to John Markham, who will surely find something to do with his $500. This Sunday, fourth place winner Joe Kilgallon will host the winner's showcase at the Garv Inn.
We sent off Bastion photographer Krystle Gemnich and Bastion Special Correspondent Robert Buscemi to check out Patton and Janeane's show on Tuesday while we were galavanting between parties and shows. You can see the full photo set here, and read Krystle's take on the show in her fanblog, Always on Silent. Robert Buscemi pipes in below with his thoughts:
Lakeshore Theater throws a hell of a party. They've somehow created a libertine atmosphere -- it's a gala hall, but a truly raucous evening as well. Must be the management and staff's true-blue love of fantastic comedy.
First off, Chicago native John Mulaney whipped a capacity crowd up with 15 minutes of sharp, confident material honed on freaking Late Night with Conan Freaking O'Brien, among other places. Several talented comedians in the back suppressed involuntary wails of jealousy at Mulaney's youth and skill and success, and at the fact that he's such a totally sweet guy to boot (I've seen him pick up other people's discarded pop cans and candy wrappers on a Manhattan sidewalk and throw them away mid-conversation – how's that for a decent bloke?). Mulaney's distinctive and terrific -- ask anyone.
Then the great Janeane Garofalo did a very conversational hour on politics and the allegiance gay women fans have for her. She had a notebook and tattoos and looked for all the world like the cool alt-comedy kid she remains, which stands to reason when you consider that she created that mold.
Finally, Captain Fun himself, Patton Oswalt, came on at midnight and proceeded to shred, mostly off the cuff if I'm not mistaken, toward a 1 AM standing ovation. He talked gamely and at length to a transgendered guy and a raspy-voiced lesbian stage-right, riffing and riffing and riffing, veering occasionally and seamlessly into his richly textured material (the only way I know that is I have his latest CD). Patton was so clearly having a ball that he left you no choice but to go along with him. He's truly a showman and a winning guy, even when he's ripping on hypocrisy and society in general. An alt-guy with a road guy's sense of showmanship, Oswalt's the best of both worlds (a small club in which I include the great Todd Glass and the beloved Jimmy Pardo). Oswalt's an infectious master of revels. Infectious "fun," not infectious "coughing."
Congrats to Lakeshore Theater for packing them to the hilt twice in one night as well. I'm told Patton and Janeane could have played bigger Chicago venues but insisted on LST, since LST is fast-becoming the go-to home for touring alt superstars. Kudos for that.
Buscemi's gearing up for his big July 22 and 29 Annoyance Theater shows, where he'll release his much-awaited standup DVD, filmed by Blerds.com's Jordan Vogt-Roberts before a sold-out house at the Subterranean in September 2006. He'll be sharing a bill with the Money Kids at IO this Tuesday at 8 PM, $5 only.
The Bastion had a jam-packed Tuesday this week, first hitting a party and screening for the short film Punched in the Gut, by Paul Thomas and Andy Roberts, and starring Claire Simon from Claire Simon Casting, Jennifer Rudnicke and Matt Miller from TP&R Casting, Beth Kligerman from Second City, Dan Antonucci, Brady Novak, Robert Buscemi, Keith Smitherman, Danubia Guerra, Andy Roberts, and Paul Thomas. Attendees took over the regular DePaul hotspot Goodbar for the afternoon, overindulging in $10 pitchers of sangria, peach margaritas, and mango mojitos. You can watch the trailer for Punched below, or see it on the big screen when it shows at the New York International Independent Film and Video Festival next month:
Leaving the party early, we then headed over to the Beat Kitchen to catch the Chicago Underground Comedy showcase. Here we saw grand slams from Mike Olson, Mike Holmes, Ken Barnard, Tony Sam, Hans Holsen, and making his debut ChUC appearance, Dan Telfer (Impress These Apes, Rogue 8, Don't Spit the Water, and Bastion SpecialCorrespondent!). We also got to see host Nick Vatterott perform for the first time since he 'got off the boat' (what Thomas Middleditch is now doing).
The relative hilarity of Chicago, as discussed by MSN. Okay, fine, we don't have the industry that the coasts have, but we're damn funny, and we practically invented improv.
"The Second City, with its Mainstage in Chicago, is the hip granddaddy of improvisationally based theater. With a list of alumni longer than some versions of the Aristocrats joke, The Second City is close to 50 years young and has outposts in Detroit, Las Vegas, Los Angeles and Toronto. Over the last two decades, Chicago-based companies such as the I.O. (formerly Improvolympic), The Annoyance Theatre (of which I’m a member, full disclosure) and others have contributed mightily to the national laugh track."
Kathy Griffin Heading to Lakeshore, Ducking Bullets
Chicago native and stand-up comedian Kathy Griffin will be performing at the Lakeshore Theater in October. In the meantime, does she need to beef up security? Does someone want Kathy Griffin dead? According to TMZ, "a short while after our cameras caught Kathy Griffin walking out of Teddys at the Roosevelt Hotel on Hollywood Blvd., someone inside a passing vehicle opened fire toward the club. As the panicked crowd ducked for cover, the lead continued to fly. On this video, a bullet can be heard whizzing past our cameraman's head as he continues to roll. At least one person was injured..."
While we are relieved that Miss Griffin was not injured, we wonder who might be topping the list of most-wanted suspects. Who has the biggest grudge against Kathy? Lindsay Lohan? The Olsen Twins? Renee Zellweger? Yeah, we can picture Zellweger leaning out of an Escalade with a semi-automatic. It was probably her.
Stand-up comic Louis CK is releasing a new DVD, "Shameless," on June 26.
Grab a free copy of "Shameless" for yourself! In honor of Louis' gingerness, the first three people to hit us up with a good redhead joke gets a "Shameless" DVD mailed right to their door.
Patton Oswalt is a well-respected comedian with a distinct voice and perspective who believes in creating comedy opportunities for himself and as many others as possible. He will be performing with Janeane Garofalo at Chicago's Lakeshore Theater on June 19 at 7 PM and 10:30. Special Bastion correspondent Dan Telfer hit another one out of the park for us with this amazing interview with Patton. Subjects covered - favorite new comic books, writing for the Simpsons, and why aspiring new comics should start their own shows.
Dan: What comic books are on your radar right now?
Patton: I'll tell you the comic books that are in front of me right now. It's Wednesday so I'm at the Chado Tea Room in LA reading my new comics. Let me check my pile over here- I just read the first issue of World War Hulk, which was awesome. I just read the director's cut of The Lone Ranger, Brett Matthews. That guy is amazing. I'm about to read the new BPRD- the Garden of Souls, Issue 4. Batman Confidential, Andy Diggle is doing a really good job on that. Oh! Matt Fraction's Punisher War Journal, which is fucking crazy. That guy is a nut! Have you been reading Wildstorm's Stormwatch: PostHuman Division?
Dan: No, I have not!
Patton: That guy, Christos Gage does this really cool comic called Stormwatch: PHD, you'd really like it. Bendis of course has new Avengers out...the new DC Countdown. Ooo! A new Fables came out.
Dan: Nice, I love Fables.
Patton: Yeah, it's all about the frog prince. Then of course Issue 12 of Alex Ross' Justice, which I'm very excited about.
Dan: You wrote an issue of JLA like five years ago, and a story in The Goon. You think you're going to be doing any more comic book writing?
Patton: I hope so! I have a story coming out in The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror in October. And there's some other stuff I'm going to be pitching to Marvel pretty soon. But I don't like to talk about things when they're in that vague, embryonic form because I feel like I over-think it and then I jinx it. So I'm gonna keep quiet.
Dan: Are you working on anything new for TV now that you're done with King of Queens?
Patton: There's a couple of shows that I'm developing, one that I'm developing with Mitchell Hurwitz so we'll see how that goes. But right now I'm actually enjoying the fact that I kind of don't know what's next, which is exciting fun for me.
Dan: Yeah, you seem to be at a point in your career where you get to create a lot of your own opportunities.
Patton: Yeah, and I'm trying to take as much advantage of that as I can.
Dan: So, since you're creating these opportunities, do you think you'll be doing more Comedians of Comedy stuff?
Patton: Oh yeah, we'll do another tour in the fall, and then we shot a special for Comedy Central that they're going to show in September. So that's very exciting. We did a big two-night thing at the Troubador and we're gonna put out a DVD on Shout Factory Records, so- very excited.
Dan: Do you know in what part of the country the new tour's going to be?
Patton: Oh yes, we're gonna map that out in a couple of weeks.
Dan: Well, I highly encourage you to include Chicago.
Patton: Well sure, we had a good time when we were there last time!
Dan: Yeah, I was at that show, and I remember you saying it was one of your best sets ever.
Patton: It was ridiculous, that show. God!
Dan: I remember you also said that you did a show in Southern Illinois right before, and that it was possibly the worst show that you've ever done.
Patton: It was so bad. It couldn't have been worse. It was just because the club owner had sent out an email saying "These comedians love drunken hecklers! So come out and give 'em both barrels!" Like he was encouraging the audience to attack us. He probably had good intentions, but just was like "Oh, I know what comedy is." And I was like "No, you're an idiot."
Dan: And I think you said some guy with one arm approached you, and said it gave him a right to heckle you.
Patton: Well yeah, he wasn't even heckling me, he was reciting all my bits along with me. And then he would yell out the punchlines before I could get to them. (in an aggressive voice) "I'm your biggest fan man, I love your stuff." Well then, you can't yell my stuff out. So, yeah, he didn't understand that.
Dan: I've noticed a lot of your bits just seem to come from things that you really like, that you can just riff on and be really enthusiastic about.
Patton: Yeah!
Dan: Do you think you reached a point in your writing where that became obvious to you?
Patton: No, I mean I don't really analyze my writing all that much. It just, like, it has to be like an organic conversation. The way that I talk in real life has gotta be the way that I'm talking onstage. That's just how it is. So that's about as far as I take it. I don't like to over-analyze what it is and what it isn't.
Dan: You're obsessed with a lot of pop culture, and I noticed you've gotten pictures with Robert Wisdom from The Wire, and Aaron Douglas from Battlestar Galactica.
Patton: Yeah, with Bunny Colvin, that's right! And the guy from Galactica, yea I meet these guys when I'm either doing movies with them or they come to my shows, and it's always very exciting.
Dan: Are you ever tempted to deviate from creating your own stuff and pursue being on those shows?
Patton: I would do one of those shows in a second! I try to do both, I try to create my own stuff and then if there's something really good that I like I totally want to be in it. But I don't pursue it. Like with Ratatouille and King of Queens, I mean, if it gets offered to me that's great. But I'm not going to campaign and try to hunt it down, because what if I'm not right for it?
Dan: Right, you don't want to put yourself in that position where it's uncomfortable, because it didn't happen organically.
Patton: Exactly.
Dan: Do you have advice for comedians who are just starting out?
Patton: Go on stage a lot. Just go on stage a lot. Find your own venue. Find your own space. Work on just making those five minutes really count. And if there's not enough stage time, go create your own stages.
Dan: There's so many comedian sites now, you've heard of funnyordie.com?
Patton: Oh yeah, I've written stuff for them, I've written recommendations for those guys' site, I had a whole little column over there. You know those little picks on the side? I did that for one week. And I do a lot of work with those guys.
Dan: Is it a good idea for comics to just put as much of their material online as possible?
Patton: Why not? I mean, the more stuff you shoot the better you learn how to shoot things, and edit yourself, and get your voice out there. Just like with open mics, I mean, you'll tell comedians "oh don't do a lot of open mics, just wait until you're really good". Well, you can't get good unless you do it, and get feedback. So why not? I think it's great!
Dan: I heard that when you did that Coachella show, you got to put a lot of new people under that Comedians of Comedy banner.
Patton: That was always my plan, to keep bringing in new people that I liked that I think need and deserve more exposure. We're gonna keep doing tours. We'll do like, maybe a different four people every time. We've already done that- like Zach (Galifianakis) can't do it, so Eugene (Mirman) popped in. We mix it up all the time. Well.. I mean... there's just people that, once I get the space I want to put them on. There's so many I can't even name them right now.
Dan: It's all just a matter of lining it up once you've got the dates.
Patton: Exactly, yeah. 'Cause I just have so many friends that I'm such a huge fan of, and so many young comedians coming up that I'm excited about.
Dan: Who are you excited about?
Patton: You know what? I could name you names, and you wouldn't know who they are because they've got zero exposure right now.
Dan: Anyone we could look up online, and then pimp out for you?
A recent clip of John Mulaney (a Chicago native) on the Conan O'Brien Show:
Dan: I do get the impression, following the Comedians of Comedy stuff, that you really do enjoy telling people about people who might not be getting enough exposure.
Patton: Well I just enjoy the fact that they're around, and it keeps me working hard and being funny. I'm just so glad that I'm not the funniest guy in my scene, you know? Because that would suck! If you're the funniest guy in your group of guys, you would never have to work hard. And I'm like, the eighth funniest guy in my scene. At best! The people that are at my same level, and they're people just coming up, wow that person is going to be amazing. So yeah, I guess I do it for selfish reasons because, if these people get successful, it makes it easier for me to do the kind of stuff that I do. You know? So many people, they get successful, and they get through the door and they close it and bolt it behind them. They don't let anyone else like them get through. They have that whole, you know, "finite resources" view of the world. Which is ridiculous, I think it just ends up fucking your career up.
Dan: And they're probably terrified of their career slipping away from them at any moment.
Patton: Yeah. Well, maybe they just don't have a creative source of their own. You know? So they do see it as a finite thing. But I see it differently, I'm just like, man, the more the merrier. Especially guys that are going to be more innovative, and make me challenge everything that I- whenever I meet someone who takes stuff that I am so sure of, and just shatter that... That's always exciting for me, because that always leads to more growth.
Dan: So you want to focus on stand-up for the rest of your life?
Patton: That's all I want to focus on! I mean, the reason that I do acting and writing is so that I can do more stand-up.
Dan: Have you sold any film scripts?
Patton: I mean, I've sold four of them. But you sell them and they just kinda go into limbo sometimes. It's hard. It's kind of like winning the lottery. There's another one I'm working on another one right now. But I'm always working on stuff, and it all goes towards me being able to keep doing stand-up.
Dan: Well your being the eighth most talented in your circle aside, you are getting a ton of exposure right now. Has the exposure gotten weird for you at any point?
Patton: No, because, for the most part I've really lucked out with my publicist. He's a guy that is a fan of me and knows who to say yes to, and who to say no to. And usually, stuff that I would not fit into, we just go, "well, let's pass." It's not like "let's get you on everything no matter what!" We try to get things that are going to fit me perfectly. So I'm getting a lot of exposure, but it's like, and I know this sounds snotty but, it's the right exposure. I'm talking to really cool people that are also going to share my enthusiasm for, if not just comedy but just for the arts. And for just things. Easy to talk to. Like the way that we are talking right now, this is more just like a conversation it's not some guy going (in a nasally voice) "Well how would you define comedy?" You know? I'm actually talking to comedy fans, which is great.
Dan: Well your fans appreciate it, because a lot of us are big nerds and-
Patton: (Laughs)
Dan: Yeah I mean I am a ridiculous nerd. I think we see your accessiblity as a sign to get behind you and follow your career.
Patton: Aw! Well, also maybe people are enthusiastic because- and I know this sounds a little weird but- if someone like me gets more exposure I'm going to probably use what exposure I have to get other people exposure. I just get so bored listening and hearing about myself, 'cause I already know that shit? I get just as excited bringing people up and going "you're not going to fucking believe this guy! Fucking... this!" Yeah! I just did a screening in Austin of this movie called The Foot Fist Way that I have nothing to do with. But Disney wanted me to screen Ratatouille at the Alamo Draft House, and I was like, well, if I'm going to screen Ratatouille let me screen this other movie that I really like. And they were like "What? Are you in that too?" And I was like "No! I just really like it! It's coming out next year and I just really want to get it exposure."
Dan: Well what's the name of that movie again?
Patton: The Foot Fist Way. It's one of the funniest movies- it's in my Top 5 funniest movies of all time. It's up there with Big Lebowski, and Office Space, and Repo Man. You know like, oh my god, this is so well written and so well acted. It's just totally original.
Dan: Well I think it's fantastic that you're willing to do that at this point in your career-
Patton: It's not that I'm willing to do it, I need to do it.
Dan: And that's wonderful, I think that's the opposite of a lot of people's expectations.
Patton: (Laughs) Why?
Dan: Well, when I saw Comedians of Comedy for the first time, there's that bit at the beginning where it's you like, after your three hour 40 Watt set-
Patton: (Laughs at the mention of three hours) Sigh...oh my God!
Dan: And you were talking about how "My purpose is to set up the next guy." And I was like, holy shit. People in the industry actually have that point of view, it's not all just cutthroat, you know?
Patton: Yeah, yeah. Well the cutthroat is always so much more interesting to listen to and write about. You know? But, I think the majority of people in my scene are all about "Hey, let's get other funny people out there." You know? Make it good for everybody.
Dan: So do you know the guys who work on Human Giant?
Patton: Yeah! I wrote a bunch of stuff for them, and I acted in a bunch of stuff. So yeah I know those guys really well. I had Aziz on a bunch of the Comedians of Comedy tour, and he did Coachella with us.
Dan: And he just came to Chicago and did a set at the Lakeshore last week, where you'll be next week!
Patton: Yeah! The Lakeshore is a great theater- in fact John Mulaney will be opening up for us at the Lakeshore.
Dan: Both shows?
Patton: Yes! You can come see John Mulaney, who I think is awesome!
Dan: And it was just one of those things where you found out he was just available and you're flying him in?
Patton: Yea, exactly I was like hey! Here's your ticket, come do this fucking show! And he was like "Oooookay."
Dan: You have anywhere in Chicago you're looking to hit up for comic books or booze?
Patton: Well, let's see I'm going to be in there Tuesday, and I leave early Wednesday morning. So I don't know. I won't be able to get comics at Graham Crackers, which I really like. But I'll definitely go to Skrine Chops for ribs, that's a given, because that place is so fucking tasty. And maybe Sayat Nova for lunch? I'm gonna have no time while I'm there. I'll basically get in, do all day press junket, do the show, and fly out first thing the next morning. So I have no idea what I'll be able to do. But usually in Chicago there's a bunch of stuff I like to go to.
Any show that starts out with the Safety Dance followed by Beat It (complete with dancing by the director), is all right by us. pH productions' Jerkology opened at the Stage Left theater last night, and since the Bastion loves jerks, we were there.
Highlights from the show included an over-the-top discussion based around the old Sally Sells Sea Shells by the Sea Shore tongue twister (we preferred Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers, but Sally was quite impressive), how to handle finding out your friend is adopted (hi Josh!), and lots of short transition sketch bits ending with someone saying something jerky over their cell phone - to their grandmother, friend with cancer, or wanna-be mother. While we really loved the sketch involving plenty of near-vomiting, it reminded us a bit too much of Waiters who are Nauseated by Food from the Dana Carvey show.
The show runs through the end of July, Thursday nights at 11:00 PM (don't worry, the show's only an hour, so you can make it to work on time the next day if you don't over-imbibe due to the theater's BYOB policy).
Leo Allen is living a life that hundreds of aspiring comedians in Chicago would love to have. Currently, he and his writing partner Eric Slovin are working with Demetri Martin to create Martin's Jon Stewart-produced pilot. In August he will be taping his first solo Comedy Central Presents special (he and writing partner Eric Slovin had a special in 2001). How did he get so busy?
After graduating from Temple University and spending a year in Israel, Allen moved to New York City and began doing open mics. "Shitty open mics, like in the back of a hamburger restaurant or a Laundromat," according to Allen. He did open mics for awhile and went to clubs to watch comics like Dave Chappelle, Todd Barry, Wanda Sykes and Dave Attell. Through the open mics, Allen met Slovin and soon the two of them began writing sketches together. They eventually would perform sketches and a few years and four hour-long shows later, Slovin and Allen were asked to shoot a pilot for FX.
Leo described the show as absurd and bizarre, counting Abbott and Costello as a big influence, and added it's basically "the idea of two men in their 50's living together." The show, which starred Eva Longoria, was not picked up. However, in 2002 both Allen and Slovin were hired as writers for Saturday Night Live. Allen wrote for the show, which he called "fun and a great learning experience" until 2005. “One of my favorite sketches that made it to air at SNL that Slovin and I wrote was called 'Tennis Talk with Time-Travelling Scott Joplin,' and was a talk show hosted by Scott Joplin who was for some reason obsessed with current women's tennis.”
Since then he has written two screenplays with Slovin and he also hosts (with Tony Camin) a live talk show at UCB Theatre called "Bro'in Out." He and Slovin also made a hilarious (seriously, it's extremely funny) short film called "Family Film," which was removed from YouTube for being too dirty, which was ironic as the short was making fun of censorship. Slovin and Allen have also struck a deal with superdeluxe.com to make short films for their website.
More recently, Allen has been doing stand-up. He was on a 20-city tour with Eugene Mirman and Michael Showalter. Last fall, he was on a 30-city tour with Demetri Martin and now he's back in Chicago with Eugene Mirman. You can catch them this Sunday, June 17th at the Lakeshore Theater. Also performing is their friend A.D. Miles of “Wet Hot American Summer” and “The Ten” (in theatres August 3rd).
As if scoring an interview last year with Eugene Mirman wasn't awesome enough, Bastion contributor Chris Burns got a chance to chat with him again this year. Listen to the MP3 of that conversation here. Mirman will be at the Lakeshore Theater tonight. In the interview we learn about his self-designed degree in comedy from Hampshire College, his London tour with David Cross, as well as his web videos on Super Deluxe.com and his role as "Eugene" on Flight of the Conchords (Sunday nights on HBO after Entourage).
Since March, Chicago comedians have been battling it out, round by round, for the ultimate Edge $3500 Comedy Competition. This Sunday, June 17, at the Garv Inn (6546 Windsor Avenue in Berwyn) is the final showdown. 150 comedians are being whittled down to a final four.
"Three of these folks will walk away with the $2000, $1000, and $500 prizes: Dustin White, Joe Kilgallon, John Markham, Cameron Esposito, Benny Harris, Mike Sheehan, Tony Werner, Ryan Andrews, Haji Outlaw, and Matt Wayne. Hosted by Dave Odd, headlined my Prescott Tolk." Next week the four winners will perform in their own "Showcase of Champions".
Janeane Garofalo is an accomplished stand-up comedian, actress, and comedy writer who has found success in television, movies, and on stand-up stages across the comedy world. She and Patton Oswalt will be performing at Chicago's Lakeshore Theater on June 19 at 7 PM and 10:30. Special Bastion correspondent Dan Telfer grabbed a few minutes on the phone with Janeane, during which they chatted about her involvement in Henry Rollins' new project, the public reaction to her political activism and her stint as a radio host on "Air America," and how stand-up comedy is sometimes much more fun in little hole-in-the-wall clubs in New York. A favorite quote from the interview: "You can have two gay guys fist-fucking in Bush's office as long as money is coming out of somebody's ass."
Dan: So how are you doing?
Janeane: I'm good, I'm good, except for my flight. I'm in Austin, I'm fine, but I sat on the tarmac for a few hours before they told us the flight wasn't leaving. Which is always a drag. I was on my way back to New York just for a couple days to see my dogs, and then the next show is going to be in North Hampton and then Boston. So I'm just missing out on the dog time. Not on show stuff.
Janeane: Oh no not really, it's just this coincidence. They just figured why don't we see if we can get Patton and Janeane in the cities that requested press, just if they can. So it's not an official Ratatouille tour, it's just that we happened to be doing press in a lot of the cities we're doing stand-up in as well.
Dan: Well that's really cool, because we don't get a lot of people like you guys up in Chicago.
Janeane: Really?
Dan: Yea, I mean we've got a couple of clubs, like Zanies. And then it's like the House of Blues, and then there's an Improv in the suburbs. What's this I'm hearing about the Henry Rollins show?
Janeane: Well, I'm on his IFC series doing monologues, not in every one of them but I'm in a lot of them. Then Henry and I are doing shows, him doing spoken word and me doing stand-up. Marc Maron and Henry Rollins and I did ten shows together that had nothing to with the IFC series, then hopefully Henry and I will continue doing that.
Dan: So at this point you've done a ton of TV and movie stuff, how often do you really get to do stand-up these days?
Janeane: Oh, I'd hardly say a ton. Hardly a ton. No honestly, it's not that much. You know I've been doing stand-up consistently since 1985. I'd say the only time I've had to take somewhat of a break was the 2 and a half years I was at Air America because that was 5 nights a week, every week. That was the only time I've had to slow down doing stand-up. Obviously you can't do road work all the time, but in New York, where I live, there's always plenty of opportunities to do stand-up.
Dan: Which do you prefer at this point-
Janeane: Stand-up! Everybody always asks me that so I always just answer before they finish. "Of all the mediums, blah blah blah" Yes, stand-up. Definitely. I just like controlling the content. I like radio and stand-up the best. Because with both Air America and in my stand-up I'm writing the material that I say or saying it extemporaneously. You know, you are the architect of "it".
Dan: Now that you've gotten to do all this political stuff and this radio stuff, is that going to be a constant in your life?
Janeane: Well, you know, as anybody who is politically conscious, it's always a constant in your life. Now obviously I'm not always going to be at Air America constantly because I no longer work there. So yeah obviously I'm not going to constantly work there. But I'm always going to be a person who in interested in and follows and has something to say about politics. Most people do, you know? As a tax paying citizen it's your right and your obligation to pay attention. You know? I'm just interested.
Dan: And I definitely think it's gotten you a lot of press. Has that ever been frustrating? Has that effected your outlook on comedy?
Janeane: The press as pertains to any time it mentions politics?
Dan: Well sure, like I remember when I first started hearing you on Air America there was just this huge onslaught of right wing, snotty nosed people who were treating it like "how dare a comedian have a foray into this discussion". They were giving Al Franken the same sort of crap.
Janeane: Right. They'll grasp at any straw. They're fine with Dennis Miller as their right-wing comedian. They're fine with Ronald Reagan, and Fred Thompson, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. The one thing you've gotta learn about Republicans and right-wingers in general: they're hypocrites. They believe in nothing... except dominating. So they always pretend to be outraged about something. But really, it's them grappling with other personality problems they have. You know what I mean by that? (laughs) The right-wing movement, quote unquote. In this country, like any country. It doesn't matter what nation you live in or what era you live in. A right-winger, a quote unquote conservative is a person who's struggling with a million other demons. That's why they are the way they are. So they always pretend to be miffed about a lot of things, but it's really, it has much more to do with whats wrong inside of them.
Dan: Have you had to deal with a lot more of those people face to face since you did Air America?
Janeane: Oh! Oh sure! It was before Air America, it was... it gets to a point where it means nothing to you anymore, you know what I mean? To have... Bush fans, or conservatives, or... or Repub- I don't know what to call them, you know? Whatever. We'll just put them in a category of people who've got issues to work out. You know? They've got problems. There's no shortage of them in your face. And after a while, the good lesson that comes out of it is that you realize it doesn't matter. You know? You can only... be honest. That's all you have to do. You'll never please everybody, and you'll never be everybody's friend. Everybody will never like you. You know what I mean? So there's no point in trying to parse your words or be amenable, especially when it comes to a conservative. You'll never win. You know what I mean? Like, I don't mean you'll never win an election. I'm just saying...
Dan: You'll never change their mind.
Janeane: You'll never change their mind. Because like I said, it's not political. In their case it is personal. It's their personal problems, that's why they're on the right side of things. Whether it's racism, misogyny, homophobia, or being a closet gay, or being a person who is anxiety-ridden or fearful... all of these things lead them to pretend they are Republicans. Do you know what I mean? (laughs)
Dan: They're not even following the actual Republican ideology.
Janeane: Not at all. And a lot of them, that's what leads them to fundamentalist religion as well. And I'm not talking about regular religion. I'm talking about fundamentalism in politics and fundamentalism in religion. And there's of course, in the Republican party, just your corporatists. They don't care who you are, where you come from, just that your money is green. That's a whole other issue, and I don't worry about them and they don't have a problem with anybody. As long as there is money being made. You know? You can have two gay guys fist-fucking in Bush's office as long as money is coming out of somebody's ass. You know what I mean? That's fine! I can deal with a corporate right-winger to some degree. I don't agree with them, but at least they're honest.
Dan: Right, they'll have some character.
Janeane: Yeah, they're just honest, it's just money. Whereas the other Republicans, and conservatives, and religious right-wingers, they're not honest with you or with themselves. And therein lies the rub! But anyway, I could on, so we better move on, I'll just go on and on...
Dan: Is there any one person, because you were a comedian immersed in all this, is there any one person who tried to be funny to you but in a right wing way? And then it was just like-
Janeane: South Park I guess. In that movie Team America? I guess that was them being funny. At the time I didn't think it was funny at all. Now, I don't give a shit at all. But at that moment! Unprepared for it. And as you know, any time you blow up somebody's head there's gonna be cheers from the audience. And I can remember being devastated. Very, very upset... because... to be quite honest I always had a crush on the curly haired South Park guy.
Dan: Oh, I think that's-
Janeane: -I don't really even know his name! Who was it?
Dan: I think that's Matt.
Janeane: Is that Matt? The one with the glasses? The taller one?
Dan: Yeah.
Janeane: So it's a real bummer to have a crush on somebody who then blows your head off. It's a little bit embarrassing! So, beyond that, I was like so you guys think that myself and the other "puppets" that you're lampooning... you think that calling a liar a liar is something to be mocked? Do you know what I mean?
Dan: Right, a layer-cake of misinterpretation. Like they hadn't really listened to what you had to say. They just wanted a liberal actor to pick on.
Janeane: Yea, they like to pretend that they're not political. They like to pretend that nobody should listen to people in entertainment. Then why should we pay for tickets to see your movie Trey? Why are we tuning in to South Park every week? You seem to have an opinion every week! And yet they like to pretend they're just like... aw shucks! You know, they're not like the others, they're something... special.
Dan: You've never had to run into them since them?
Janeane: Oh! I did! I did, I ran into them in New York and I said, the least you can do is give me my puppet! And one of them put my address into his address book and said "I shall do that!" and I never got my puppet.
Dan: Well I heard that movie cost a ridiculous amount of money to make. Maybe they're in trouble and they couldn't.
Janeane: Oh no, I think that movie did very well, or did very well on DVD! And you know what , for them, do you know how wealthy they are? Do you have
We mentioned earlier that some Chicago Underground Comedy performers are starting a new series of shows called the Pop Stand. The first show is tonight at the Beat Kitchen (2100 W. Belmont), so why not give it a whirl? Doors open at 8:30, and the show starts at 9. Bring your favorite pop culture nerd and see what's what. The best of the best will be available for your job-avoiding pleasure on Rooftop Comedy.
But then that Tuesday, July 3, you can shake all that off and give Ms. 
And finally, for your Big Happy Friday round-up, we'll give you at least a week-out heads-up: Zach Galifianakis is at the Vic Theatre, Friday, July 6, 8 p.m.. No, there hasn't been any local media coverage on the show. It's not even on the Vic's Web site. There's hardly been even a MySpace bulletin about it! But rest assured, we do know the show is real, and tickets can be bought 
Chicago comics are going to be putting the lemon in the lime at the 
The Lakeshore Theater is continuing its run of amazing summer comedy shows. Edinburgh Fringe Festival darling Scott Capurro will be playing the 
It's finally here! Chicago Open Set in conjunction with 'The Other Windfrey Show', will be shooting the pilot episode for 'No Restrictions' live on July 3rd at 8pm at Kittymoon, located at 6237 N. Clark. 
Got a filthy mind? Think you can top Bob Saget's disgusting take on the classic Aristocrats joke? Big Dog Eat Child is holding a $100 Aristocrats Joke Contest at their upcoming Super Party.
Also, tune into NBC on Monday, July 16, to see Renee work her tail off as a personal assistant to the Poshest Spice Girl of all in the hour-long reality special "
Yes, it's a special Saturday post! We wanted you to know that tomorrow, Sunday, June 24, at 1 p.m. at 
Remember the Bastion's 
It's the Great Sketch Comedy Showdown!
The $3500 
The 
Chicago native and stand-up comedian 
Patton: That guy, Christos Gage does this really cool comic called Stormwatch: PHD, you'd really like it. Bendis of course has new 
Patton: I hope so! I have a story coming out in The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror in October. And there's some other stuff I'm going to be pitching to Marvel pretty soon. But I don't like to talk about things when they're in that vague, embryonic form because I feel like I over-think it and then I jinx it. So I'm gonna keep quiet.
Dan: So, since you're creating these opportunities, do you think you'll be doing more Comedians of Comedy stuff?
Patton: It was so bad. It couldn't have been worse. It was just because the club owner had sent out an email saying "These comedians love drunken hecklers! So come out and give 'em both barrels!" Like he was encouraging the audience to attack us. He probably had good intentions, but just was like "Oh, I know what comedy is." And I was like "No, you're an idiot."
Dan: You're obsessed with a lot of pop culture, and I noticed you've gotten pictures with Robert Wisdom from The Wire, and Aaron Douglas from Battlestar Galactica.
Any show that starts out with the Safety Dance followed by Beat It (complete with dancing by the director), is all right by us. 
As if scoring an 
Dan: Yea, I mean we've got a couple of clubs, like Zanies. And then it's like the House of Blues, and then there's an Improv in the suburbs. What's this I'm hearing about the Henry Rollins show?
Janeane: Right. They'll grasp at any straw. They're fine with Dennis Miller as their right-wing comedian. They're fine with Ronald Reagan, and Fred Thompson, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. The one thing you've gotta learn about Republicans and right-wingers in general: they're hypocrites. They believe in nothing... except dominating. So they always pretend to be outraged about something. But really, it's them grappling with other personality problems they have. You know what I mean by that? (laughs) The right-wing movement, quote unquote. In this country, like any country. It doesn't matter what nation you live in or what era you live in. A right-winger, a quote unquote conservative is a person who's struggling with a million other demons. That's why they are the way they are. So they always pretend to be miffed about a lot of things, but it's really, it has much more to do with whats wrong inside of them.