Shopping With Posh Spice: a Chat With Renee Gauthier
In this Bastion exclusive, Chicago comic-gone LA Renee Gauthier talks about life in LA, what she misses about Chicago, and her experience working as Victoria Beckham's personal assistant during the filming of "Victoria Beckham: Coming To America," which aired last night on NBC. Yes, Victoria Beckham, as in Posh Spice, who married David Beckham, recently signed to a $250 million deal to play for the LA Galaxy, himself described by Gawker as "the man sent by God to Los Angeles to punish it for its celebrity-worshipping sins."
The show was described by the New York Post as "relentlessly self-promoting," showcasing "vapid, condescending behavior" in a show portrayed as "an orgy of self-indulgence." According to Celebrity Cafe, Victoria is tromping through LA saying and doing as she pleases, whipping out barbed zingers like calling Eddie Murphy a "Beverly Hills C**k. I’d spit in his food definitely, I’d chop his d*** off too." The LA Times quotes Mrs. Beckham as critiquing fellow celebrities' fashions thusly: "They dress down quite a lot here, don't they? It seems to be in keeping to go to Starbucks in track suit bottoms and Ugg boots."
We don't know how the Beckhams will adjust to LA, whether they'll ingratiate themselves to the A List as well as win the hearts of the hoi polloi, or whether Victoria will lay off the dazed sex robot face and ever actually smile like a human being in public, but we're relieved to hear that Renee has survived her brush with megafame and is still her happy, funny self.
(Until it gets yanked, here's a clip of Renee working with Posh):
What's it like trying to go through your workday in public with paparazzi all over the place?
The first day of work, we went out to grab some things and the paparazzi was waiting on a side street for her. It was so crazy to see how much she has to deal with. I was almost afraid at first, because while you are in the car you can see them strapping on their cameras, big cameras, but after that first initial day, it seems like a regular thing.
Having seen extreme fame and fortune so close up now, is that something you would want for yourself?
Well, I have thought about that. As an aspiring comedienne, would I want to get so super famous and have to deal with the privacy issues and tabloid lies? And the answer is yes. If it meant that I got to do what I love and be known for it enough that people wanted to "know me," yes. Victoria is such a down to earth person that it shows you how one can maintain sanity through the fame.
What kind of a shopper is Posh? A bargain hound, a "one in every color" shopper, the kind that buys stuff that never actually gets used?
The kind with money. I mean if she wants it she can buy it. I was shopping with her and looked at the prices and remembered why I never went shopping at these places - because I am poor. I think she shops like most people, sometimes for a reason and sometimes just for fun.
Is David Beckham that hot in person?
Unfortunately I do not know if he is hot in person. He was not in LA during the time that I was working with her. My god, I bet he is pretty though. Although I am not hot in person and in photos I look like I need assistance.... so who knows. Well I guess we all know he is most likely gorgeous... considering his wife.
Did you spend any time at their house?
She was looking for homes so she was in a rental and that house was ridiculous so I could only imagine what the real house will look like. The place that she was renting had an amazing view and cool pool... weird art, but cool. I share a bedroom with my sister, oh and a bed...so anything outside of that situation looks like gold.
What's Posh's closet like?
Oh my goodness, her closet is my dream come true. She has great taste in clothes and shoes. I think I drooled when I went in there and saw all the shoes. I actually remember coming in while she was just picking stuff out and I was wearing some Gap outfit, which is a good outfit, until you see hers.
Posh welcomes herself to America by arranging for a confrontational tête-à-tête with gossip blogger Perez Hilton:
Does she bother even owning a fridge?
No she eats like an astronaut - all dried foods, including ice cream. She drinks Tang. Yes, she bothers to own a fridge. She eats, people! Not as much as your friend Renee here, but yes. I shoved a burger in my mouth in front of a male model and then proceeded to ask him how he eats his steak. Just for conversation, of course. Not many people in L.A. are like me, in terms of eating like normal people.
Did Posh ever comment on things about our culture and people?
She was surprised by a few things, like terminology, and talked about how nice and friendly people are. She also mentioned that she thought it was nice that Americans are so patriotic. She had nothing but great things to say about the culture.
What else is going on for you in L.A. these days?
I am doing the comedy scene and just working a lot. I have shot quite a few sketches for the web and I am also attempting to develop my own sketch show, based on original characters.
What's the best part about living there?
The sun and the chance of seeing someone really cool. I have met a few cool people due to working at a great restaurant and doing comedy out here. I have met Scott Thompson from the "Kids In The Hall," Greg Berhendt, who wrote "He's Just Not That Into You" and Mindy Kaling from "The Office" to name a few. That has been really cool.
What do you miss most about Chicago?
I miss the scene and the rooms. I miss the comedians and I miss the summer in Chicago. Oh yeah - my family and friends.
And, to wrap things up, the Bastion surveyed Beckham-obsessed fellow posters at a pop culture message board we spend a sick amount of time at and chose these selected questions. In other words, we're sorry about the "tits" question. We would never use such vulgar terminology. We prefer terms like "knockers," "globbies," and "sweater puppies."
What, if anything, does Posh eat in a 24-hour period?
Posh eats like regular people. She is just a fit woman who knows how to keep looking good. She does not look too thin in person. She even drinks pop - diet of course, but still there is sugar in there.
Does she think her tits look good? (Renee can be seen walking behind Posh in pictures accompanying this article, which speculates wildly about the aforementioned boobs.)
I never asked her and she doesn't really go on about her "ladies." I think that would weird me out if someone sat around just out of nowhere saying "good god my TITS look amazing." Who wants to know about "tits?" What a dirty word. That just makes me feel filthy talking about tits. From now on we call them "ladies."
Posh and Becks with a pre-Borat Sacha Baron Cohen (in character as Ali G) several years ago:
What does she think about her fellow Spice Girls?
From what I can tell she has a close relationship with all of the girls. I did get to meet another Spice Girl, and she was hilarious and gorgeous. I don't think they see each other as often as they would like but again that is what I gather. When she spoke about the Spice Girls it was in a way that told me she missed and enjoyed that time. I do know that I have personally deemed myself "PA Spice." I carry a scheduler around and wear glasses.
What's the deal with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes suddenly being BFF with the Beckhams?
I am not sure - it is sudden! I don't know much about it. I am just wondering how Tom and Katie are gonna feel now that VB and I are BFF's ...I mean - will Posh go over to TomKat's for a screening and gourmet food, or go to Renee's for a movie on a 27 inch TV and order-in pizza? I am obviously gonna win.
