It's week eight already? Yes, it is. Tonight is the big concluding shebang and the tension is mounting. For the grand finale of Impress These Apes, the final showdown, the contestants are free to choose their own talent, so who knows what might transpire on that stage?

Just like last season, Professor Scoresboard is getting less and less tolerant of the unceasing abuse he's taken from the great and cruel apes, Gameshow Host is losing more and more of his mind with each insane talent competition, and the top contestants are in a nail-biting race for the finish. I mean, sure, humanity is probably doomed anyway, but it's good to be entertained as we hurtle toward oblivion!

Be there at the Del Close Theater at iO at 8 pm tonight to watch the sparks fly, the bananas get mashed, and humanity strain to dazzle those mean monkeys but good.

Last week's talent, "sideshow," featured genuinely unnerving stuff like Kristen Studard doing this:

- Elizabeth McQuern