Breaking news, just for Bastion readers: David Sedaris is funny. You heard it here first, people. Kicking off Steppenwolf's 2008 Traffic Series, the Grammy Award-nominated humorist and NPR contributor extraordinaire takes to the stage with new material, proving just how hilarious bunions and chafed butt cheeks can be (as if we didn't know that already).

Treating audiences to a hearty helping of selections from his upcoming book, Indefinite Leave to Remain (June 2008), Sedaris describes in guffaw-inducing detail his adventures in Tokyo and his recent experience with kicking the nicotine habit, recalling stays in motel smoking rooms permeated by a smell reminiscent of a "burning mummy."

The post-show Q&A delivered as many laughs as the performance, with Sedaris sharing some of his favorite tricks for beating writers' block, such as dutifully working through the brain-numbingly banal homework exercises following the essays--sometimes his own--in college literature textbooks. "Using examples from the reading to support your argument, discuss how Sedaris effectively blah blah..." Yes--who could forget those fun little creativity springboards?

Not surprisingly, the January 8-13 performance run is sold out, but if you're brazen enough to wrestle a ticket away from some poor, hapless theatergoer, you shan't be disappointed. If not, you'll just have to wait for the new collection of essays to find out which body part Sedaris describes as his "rusted coin slot." (If you simply can't wait, substantial cash bribes are being accepted Monday through Friday during regular business hours.)

-Sloan Taylor