He's inspired a litany of young Chicago stand-up comics (and even a catchphrase or two) with his earnest pre-show chats inside the revered green room walls of Chicago's only full-service stand-up comedy nightclub. Standing the test of time and currently adapting to 'alternative' comedy's eventual move out of rock clubs and coffeehouses, Bert Haas continues to audition and hire local young talent eager for stage time and yes, even a few bucks to perform comedy for a hungry, often visiting or celebrating audience. His is Zanies Comedy Club, where comedians of yore stare down and grin from the walls, vicious accolades scribbled across their mugs in honor of the Man in Back.

Can you give us a brief history of Zanies?

Zanies opened in November 1978. In the beginning the format included improv groups as well as stand-ups and also musical comedy acts. About 1980, the focus became more on stand-up comedy, although Zanies has always used musical/variety acts. After all, the name is Zanies.

In 1982, as the recession eased, Zanies began to use out-of-town comedians in addition to Chicago stand-ups. This has continued to this day but Zanies is proud to be part of the Chicago comedy community. Zanies does not believe that you have to be a television star or from one of the coasts to be a great stand-up comedian.

What is your job title, and what do you do from day-to-day?

My official job title is Executive Vice President. I am responsible for booking and supervising all three Zanies locations [Chicago, St. Charles, and Vernon Hills].

My two biggest tasks are booking talent and marketing the clubs.

How did you get into the comedy business, and what did you do before?

I started at Zanies in February 1980 as a waiter. I was working full time in the Loop for a market research firm but I had been accepted at the University of Regensburg in Germany for graduate studies in economics. My plan was to save some money and go back to Germany. Instead I became manager of Zanies, opened the Nashville Zanies in 1983, and then opened the four other Zanies.

Have you always been a comedy fan? Who were some of your favorites growing up?

I love comedy. I always have. Growing up I watched stand-up comedy on The Ed Sullivan show and my family always watched Red Skelton. There was one summer in the 1970s when Frank Sinatra, Jr. hosted a variety show that featured stand-ups and another network showed stand-up comedy and I can remember seeing Freddy Prinze doing stand-up for the first time (pre-Chico and the Man.) Stanley Myron Handleman (who just passed away) always cracked me up. I saw Bill Cosby in concert at The Mill Run Theatre in 1974. I can remember reading Alan King’s books in high school ("Help! I’m a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery" and "Anybody Who Owns His Own Home Deserves It").

One of the most pivotal events in my life was a Christmas gift I received when I was a sophomore in high school. My sister gave me Lenny Bruce’s autobiography, "How to Talk Dirty and Influence People", published here in Chicago by Hugh Hefner and Playboy Press.

What's the demographic of a typical audience at Zanies?

Audiences vary by day and by show. Weekday audiences are usually a little younger but also include a mix of tourists. The Saturday 7:00 p.m. show is probably the oldest audience. Audience ages run from early 20s to individuals in their 70s. After 30 years, Zanies is multi-generational with the children of customers from 25 years ago now attending the shows.

What do you like best about your job?

I spend every day with the funniest people in the country.

What's the toughest part of your work?

Not being able to book everyone as much as I wish. I only have 52 weeks a year to fill.

Lots of Chicago comics would like to perform at Zanies. How do you choose from among them, and what can they do to increase their chances of working for you?

Zanies in Chicago has Rising Star Showcases on select Mondays every month. These showcases are designed for professional comedians who wish to audition for me or for working comedians who want to work on material. I attend every Rising Star Showcase and use them to see new faces.

I would suggest to all aspiring comedians that the best way to get booked at Zanies is the best way to get booked anywhere: Stay in front of the booker. I am always amazed when someone will showcase for me and then write me three months later and ask if I will book them. Book them? I don’t even remember them. On an average week (when I showcase) I will see 8-10 comedians. Then I visit each of the Zanies and watch shows so I will see another 9-10 comedians that week. I view submitted tapes. I watch Comedy Central. On an average week I see sets from 30 or 40 comedians. If you contact me 12 weeks after your showcase, I will have seen about 300-400 comedians in the meanwhile.

Stay in touch with me. I consider myself one of the most accessible bookers in the country.

On the flip side, what are big Zanies no-no's that comedians should avoid?

I am pretty explicit when I schedule a showcase.

1. Be at the club by 7:30 PM.
2. Be prepared to do six minutes of clean material.
3. Bring a promo package.
4. Invite your friends and family.

If you follow the suggestions, you will do fine. I give a talk prior to the showcase in which I explain what I am looking for, how to follow up with me, tips about the business, etc.

How often do you read The Bastion, and what do you find most useful about it? Feel free to butter us up here.

I read it every day. I check The Bastion first, then Shecky Magazine, then Punchline Magazine. Then I view the Web sites of competitors and I finish up at the Zanies Web site.

My only complaint is that I don’t think you pay enough attention to established clubs like Zanies. There is a tendency to dismiss Zanies as old school and not hip when too often what passes for hip is just inexperience.

What's the scoop on Zanies comedy classes? Who would benefit most from taking them?

Comedy classes at Zanies are taught by Dobie Maxwell who has spent years perfecting the curriculum. I think any aspiring comedian would benefit from the classes because Dobie has so much real world experience to communicate.

At the same time, I think anyone who speaks in public as part of their job could benefit from the classes – lawyers, sales associates, human resources individuals.

Finally, I think anyone who has watched stand-up comedy and thought, "I can do that", should take the class. After the four week introductory class they will know either that a) stand-up is a lot harder than it looks or b) they want to be a stand-up comedian.

Do you ever go to other Chicago showcases to scout for talent? The Lincoln Lodge, Chicago Underground Comedy, Edge Comedy?

Because I visit all three Zanies clubs every week and sometimes have to spend multiple nights in one club because of rotating talent, I do not get to see as many other shows as I would like. Zanies is only a block from Second City and despite many vows, I did not see [recent Second City revue] Barack and a Hard Place. I am so angry with myself.

I did get to the D.C. Comedy Fest last year and I met some new comedians. I have been a judge at Snubfest for the last two years.

I would hope that the best comedians from those other venues have either showcased for me or are working at Zanies.

With the democratization of media -- specifically comedians being able to produce original content and distribute it to as wide an audience as they can manage to attract -- some people speculate that Chicago comedians might be able to establish their careers without having to make a big move to LA or New York. Do you have any thoughts on that?

Dream on.

Any thoughts on TJ Miller's recent successes?

I think it is great. TJ is a hard working, great guy and I think everyone in the Chicago comedy community is happy for his success.

I'm going to give you some comedians' names, and you give me a sentence or two to describe them:

Prescott Tolk - Solid act.

Fay Canale – Very likable on stage. I think as her material grows she will become a strong presence in Chicago.

Michael Palascak - Mike had a great year last year and I expect he will continue to build on his success. As we used to say about another Michael – I Like Mike.

Pat Brice - A terrible loss. The only good to come out of his passing is that after attending his funeral I vowed to work harder and try to make a greater contribution with my life. I keep his Memorial card in my billfold as an inspiration.

Allison Leber – Allison is interesting to me because the first time I saw her she was hosting at some coffeehouse open mic. Dobie Maxwell and I were there as part of a Chicago Tribune article. We both thought Allison had a real personality and I invited her to audition at Zanies which she did. She listens and continues to improve. We also saw Jack Calhoun and two others that night. Jack listened to us and continues to improve. The other two remain new talents.

Hannibal Buress - Hannibal is doing very well and will become even bigger. He works as hard as anyone I have met. He has a unique point of view which separates him from the others.

Adam Burke - Another individual with a unique point of view. He makes me laugh.

Who are some of your favorite nationally known comedians that have played at Zanies, and what do you like most about them?

I would have tunnel carpal syndrome if I tried to list all the comedians who make me laugh.

Zanies is a short walk from Second City in Chicago. Can you speak to the influence of improv on Chicago's stand-ups?

I am always amazed at how little crossover there is between the two communities. I recommend that all stand-ups take acting classes or participate in improv as a way to improve their skill set. To date, I can think of only a few comedians who have successfully done both stand-up and improv: Jim Fay, David Pasquesi, Jeff Garlin, TJ Miller, and Nathan Craig.

- Kristy Mangel and Elizabeth McQuern